1 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:16,900 THE LITTLE TEHATER OF JEAN RENOIR 2 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,180 Ladies and gentlemen, here's my little theatre... 3 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,379 on whose stage I'll have the pleasure to illustrate... 4 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:31,179 some anecdotes which amused me and which... 5 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,619 I hope you'll like. 6 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,179 One is a Christmas tale... 7 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,379 which I call "The Last Christmas Eve"... 8 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:44,299 dedicated to the memory of my extraordinary collaborator... 9 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,499 who is unaware of this collaboration... 10 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,019 the great Hans-Christian Andersen. 11 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:52,739 One should choose one's masters only among the greatest. 12 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,180 The players in it are... 13 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,340 This is my territory...! 14 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,740 He wants to steal my place. 15 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,939 Since the war... 16 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,340 ...there's no morality, anymore. 17 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:40,139 I'm drunk... 18 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,980 All Christmas you drink and look for girls... 19 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,220 You follow tradition or you don't. 20 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,659 I'm freezing! 21 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,859 At Christmas you freeze and in August you sweat... 22 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,060 Let's go in before I catch pneumonia! 23 00:01:58,400 --> 00:01:59,979 I'm starving! 24 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,419 Let me first contemplate the perfectly conventional decor... 25 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:04,579 of this restaurant... 26 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,220 I adore the conventional! 27 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:11,260 Christmas is our civilization's most successful clich�... 28 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,780 And that's its charm. 29 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,620 The world's made up of contrasts... 30 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:39,060 or it was, before "progress" levelled everything... 31 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:42,499 Soon there'll be no cold nor warm... 32 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:47,380 nor rich nor poor, it'll all be the same... a real drag! 33 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:52,019 Because the very idea of equality is a drag. 34 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:53,739 I've a toothache... 35 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,180 Try a scotch with Cayenne pepper... it's infallible. 36 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,979 Caviar in a large salad bowl with big spoons... 37 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,979 so it'll look impressive... 38 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,820 And for me, salami and red wine. 39 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,819 Mouton-Rothschild? 40 00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:10,700 No, vin ordinaire 41 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,180 Isn't it marvelous? 42 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:15,780 That bum... 43 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,460 I've an idea... 44 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,539 What can he be telling him? 45 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,019 He's telling him about the healthfulness... 46 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,859 of out-door life, naturally! 47 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,980 Oh, my tooth! 48 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:49,220 My Christmas is always a bust... my boyfriend dines with his wife. 49 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,460 He's giving him money. 50 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,779 He's nuts! 51 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,740 But he's backing my film! 52 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,260 You better watch him. 53 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,700 The old fellow can't believe it... 54 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,059 Gontran always exaggerates. 55 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,099 Always showing off. 56 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,220 He can afford it. 57 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,020 And he wouldn't pay my rent! 58 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,060 How's that for expressing hunger? 59 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,379 I paid him to look through the window... 60 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,659 and watch us eat 61 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,819 so your pleasure will be enhanced 62 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,780 by being stared at by someone who's starving. 63 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,700 Oh, my tooth! 64 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,580 It's a wisdom tooth. 65 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,780 Aren't the shortest jokes the best, old boy? 66 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:19,619 I'm delighted... it's a Shakespearean situation. 67 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,060 I agree, it's absolutely Shakespearean. 68 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,780 A wisdom tooth's no joke! 69 00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,259 Not eating? 70 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,259 No, I'm not hungry. 71 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:46,099 I've had enough, I'm going... you're disgusting. 72 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,660 I don't want ever to see you again. 73 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,340 I'm going too. 74 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,420 Really! 75 00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,779 They just didn't understand! 76 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,419 The turkey now? 77 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,979 I loathe turker! 78 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,060 The service was unsatisfactory, Mr. Gontran? 79 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,139 We must get rid of that bum! 80 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,299 We could give him the left-overs... 81 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,420 Very good idea! 82 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,420 Say, old boy, how about a little supper? 83 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:45,579 Yes, caviar, foie gras, turkey, a nice bottle of champagne... 84 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:46,739 Or two... 85 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,900 It depends... I'm very particular about champagne... 86 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,380 ..I like it dry... 87 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:58,739 Note that I didn't ask for it... still, it must be the best. 88 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:00,539 He's priceless! 89 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,139 You'll be satisfied. 90 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,579 Good, because otherwise I'll complain... 91 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,139 You seem very intelligent... 92 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:11,940 No, I'm a real idiot, but life teaches you things... 93 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,059 I'll find a bench... 94 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,700 ...nearby... 95 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,739 We're fixing you a real banquet. 96 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:24,019 And leave that windows... you're annoying people... 97 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,539 I was paid to stay. 98 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,539 They've left, already. 99 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:29,500 Oh, in that case...! 100 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,300 Well, my friend... 101 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,499 And don't call me your friend! 102 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,939 Very right and proper, Captain. 103 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,579 ...and don't forget... 104 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,940 ...the silver, eh? I hate eating with my fingers. 105 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,499 None of that Henry V stuff, eh? 106 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:50,779 VIII... 107 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,900 Henry VIII, of course... 108 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,060 Utensils for two, please... 109 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,859 Yes, a conquest... 110 00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,859 Young? Pretty? 111 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:03,420 Young... pretty... the prettiest in town... 112 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,740 We'll bring it right away... meanwhile, please... 113 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,180 ...move away a bit. 114 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,020 Isn't he handsome! 115 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,659 Must be his makeup. he's too perfect... 116 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,619 What a makeup! 117 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,740 I'll invite him to supper... 118 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,460 To be hugged by that wreck must be something... 119 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,260 Anyway, I'll give him my cape. 120 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,980 "Clothe him who is naked..." 121 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,659 Now to put the feedbag on, eh? 122 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,659 Let's say, some supper. 123 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,859 With pleasure not to see you again... 124 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,420 The pleasure will be mine. 125 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,139 Well, my good fellow... 126 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,780 how goes it? 127 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,379 How nice to meet one who looks... 128 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:11,939 as happy as you. 129 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,020 Anything you'd like? 130 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:15,779 Make a wish... 131 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,139 I'd like to play Santa Claus... 132 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,260 this Christmas Eve. 133 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,380 Make it quick, I'm freezing! 134 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,740 It's my heaven-sent chance to do a good deed... 135 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,619 Tell me, what would you like most? 136 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,179 Help me carry my packages. 137 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,020 Some kidder, eh? 138 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,019 I was worried you wouldn't return... 139 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,179 How could you think such a thing! 140 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,059 I've no life without you... 141 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,460 And without you I'm bored. 142 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,739 My, that's serious! 143 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,379 Very serious! 144 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:52,460 Cold, hunger... one can manage those... but boredom! 145 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,340 I'm so weak... 146 00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:00,860 I feel my legs won't support me anymore... 147 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,819 I couldn't die without you! 148 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,859 Nor could I...! 149 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,179 We'll never part... 150 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,419 Never... 151 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,179 Day and night... 152 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,579 we'll hold each other's hand... 153 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,260 Even for a treasure, like a whole cigarette... 154 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,099 a glass of wine... 155 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,500 or a piece of sausage... 156 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,500 we'll never leave each other. 157 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,979 If you were run over... away from me... 158 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,699 they'd bury you... 159 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:41,620 but what would I do all alone? 160 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,019 And I...? 161 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,020 You'll always hold my hand? 162 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,820 And we'll die together? 163 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,060 What's that? 164 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,299 A cape. 165 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,339 You met Santa Claus? 166 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,460 A bushel of Santa Clauses! 167 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,819 That explains your overcoat... 168 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,700 And the cape and this supper... 169 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:14,300 Champagne, caviar, foie gras! 170 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,900 A supper worthy of you. 171 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,419 Darling... 172 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,820 I left your hand... 173 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,979 It's the cape's fault... 174 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:56,260 it made me forget my vow... 175 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,540 Give me your hand... 176 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,140 What a beautiful night! 177 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:11,279 The clouds are dissolving to reveal the stars, and how they glitter...! 178 00:14:11,380 --> 00:14:14,819 It's to celebrate the birth of a child... 179 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,539 and our young love 180 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,820 I remember Christmas in our chateau... 181 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,219 We were alone... 182 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,980 except for the servants... 183 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,539 What perfect servants they were... 184 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,539 of the old school... 185 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:34,260 they knew how to be devoted without becoming familiar... 186 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,179 I had called for musicians... 187 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,259 for just us two... 188 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,899 The salon was lit, and we danced... 189 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,940 just us two, us two alone... it was divine... 190 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,500 Yes, it was divine... 191 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:58,700 This game is hideous! Let's stop this delirium...! 192 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,899 The splendor of an imaginary past doesn't lessen our present misery! 193 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,020 We had no chateau... 194 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,899 no servants... 195 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,139 We did... 196 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,260 I never saw a mink close before. 197 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,179 You've forgotten... 198 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:15,540 We're poor, poorer than the poorest... 199 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,539 and we always were. 200 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,620 We're rich in memories... 201 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,340 Made-up memories. 202 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,100 They're the best kind. 203 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,140 My darling. 204 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,540 Oh, my darling! 205 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,099 We're too old for that... 206 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,460 No... 207 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:58,740 Now we'll rest on our big canopied bed... 208 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,060 in our chateau. 209 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,820 We haven't had our supper. 210 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,740 I'll be for the poor. 211 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,020 Hey, look... they swiped our spot! 212 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,340 The skunks! 213 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,300 They're sound asleep. 214 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,659 They're dead... 215 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,460 Let's have some grub. 216 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,940 What I don't get is that they look happy... 217 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,500 How can ou be happy when you freeze to death? 218 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,379 We continue with "THE ELECTRIC WAXER"... 219 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,899 This one's an opera... 220 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,419 well, at least there are songs... 221 00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,579 choruses commenting on the action, etc... 222 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,819 It's also very tropical... 223 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,940 being about man vs. the machine. 224 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,580 The struggle is acted out by... 225 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:21,979 Subway... office... 226 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,100 Office... subway... 227 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:30,780 Credit accounts... 228 00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:34,700 Duplicators... 229 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,179 Manipulators... 230 00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,300 Contracts... projects... 231 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,900 Subway... office... 232 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:50,100 Office... subway... 233 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,780 Perfect nylons, subtle makeup... 234 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,700 Youth is passing... 235 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,820 Life is slowing... 236 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,820 Who'll give me back the sweet days... 237 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,900 Of my first misconducts... 238 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:28,500 The kisses in the corner of a doorway... 239 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,860 The illusory promises... 240 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,740 The slaps of my poor father... 241 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:44,620 The yells of my mother... 242 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,420 Subway... office... Office... subway... 243 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:39,340 Emilie! 244 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,459 My floor! 245 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,459 I've been promoted to 2nd Clerk! 246 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,540 Look what you did! 247 00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:57,859 Just think...! I'm 2nd Clerk! 248 00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,980 The scuffs, if you please! 249 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,939 Now listen, this is important... 250 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,539 The First Clerk, Dufourneau, is retiring... 251 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,819 about time, too... after 52 years... 252 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,899 and the 2nd Clerk, Lamorille, replaces him. 253 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,540 And I replace the 2nd Clerk! 254 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:21,939 The office is giving me a party tonight... 255 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,420 and you're invited, naturally. 256 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:28,299 Get dressed, the maid will do your floor. 257 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,860 Leave my floor to a maid?! 258 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,300 I'd rather die! 259 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,339 Don't exaggerate... 260 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,460 You don't understand... 261 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,139 a gleaming floor e a household's glory... 262 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,260 by which you're judged... 263 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:52,219 A well waxed floor is, for a proper wife... 264 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:57,180 what pearls, a mink coat, or a Rolls-Royce are for a whore. 265 00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,500 Have it varnished. 266 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:00,740 Never! 267 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,860 A varnished floor is vulgar. 268 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,940 I want an electric waxer. 269 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,699 Yes, electric. 270 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,939 Look, I work all day in a noisy office... 271 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,779 The clack of the "noiseless" typewriters unnerves me... 272 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:20,900 A waxer isn't very noisy. 273 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,939 We have a vacuum cleaner, washing machine... 274 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:29,139 mixer, dryer, air-conditioner... it's enough. 275 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,139 Now let's be serious. 276 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,539 I've been made 2nd Clerk... 277 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,460 and to be 2nd Clerk at 35, well, it's pretty nice. 278 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,620 You ought to hug me, congratulate. 279 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,979 You'll get a raise? 280 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:47,419 Of course... 281 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:51,860 Then you'll buy me my electric waxer? 282 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,220 You know the annual insanity rate? 283 00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,140 127,682... 284 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,100 And the percentage of noise-induced cases? 285 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,420 27,5%... 286 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,340 I should... 287 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,500 Try it! 288 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,139 You will buy it for me, won't you? 289 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:23,859 She'll drive me nuts! 290 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,939 On the guillotine, she's demand her waxer! 291 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,060 Quick, dress, or we'll be late. 292 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,019 For my party, celebrating my promotion! 293 00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:36,100 I'm going back to my mother. 294 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,140 Good riddance. I'm taking a bath. 295 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,579 The towels are mine! 296 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,700 They're mine! 297 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,899 No, they're mine! 298 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,020 The towels are mine! 299 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:11,500 At last there's something going on... 300 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,940 In our neighborhood... 301 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:31,980 Let's thank our considerate neighbors... 302 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,460 For this entertainment... 303 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,620 For this free show. 304 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,420 Nothing is more exciting... 305 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,020 Than other people's troubles 306 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,340 They make life bearable 307 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,620 It's better than the movies 308 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,620 Other people's troubles... 309 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,020 The troubles of others 310 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,700 And our blessed bread. 311 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:06,100 I left my innocence heart 312 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,220 In the fog 313 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,620 My heart sick with bitterness. 314 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,979 My bruised heart 315 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,380 My child's heart 316 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:27,180 What comes after "My child's heart" in Noel Fox's song? 317 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:24,979 My crumb-tray... 318 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:28,699 You don't think I'll leave my grandfather's crumb-tray. 319 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:33,780 He was a gentleman, who wouldn't have refused me an electric waxer. 320 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,380 Emilie, your obstinacy is delicious. You'll get your waxer. 321 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:58,660 The end of that song, I found it. 322 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,379 Company? 323 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:23,819 Maybe it's a telegram of congratulations, 324 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,700 or our escort to the party. 325 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,300 Where is Madame? 326 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,259 The walls of the chateau of Loches 327 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,939 smothered the protests of Cardinal de la Balue 328 00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,979 imprisoned by Louis XI. 329 00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,100 Those times are over. 330 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,259 If the think walls of modern houses 331 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,219 don't make for intimacy between neighbors 332 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,219 they at least reveal their little habits. 333 00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,900 I represent the Magnetotum Waxer. 334 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,539 I'm also your next door neighbor. 335 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,979 For instance, I know your favorite records 336 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,459 I share your taste for Noel Fox 337 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,860 I know all your habits 338 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:16,900 You take many baths, very right and proper. 339 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,339 I'm also a witness, unintentional, 340 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,659 I don't listen behind walls 341 00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:26,780 to your little quarrels. 342 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,299 The one about the electric waxer 343 00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:34,619 touched me particularly 344 00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:38,060 which explains my sudden appearance here. 345 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,539 Excuse me, I was taking a bath. 346 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:43,579 I must dress. 347 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,060 I was just promoted, friends are waiting. 348 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:47,580 Congratulations! 349 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,179 May I touch it? 350 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,219 Even better, try it. 351 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,300 First we must clean up this dirt. 352 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,300 Here is the contact switch 353 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,100 Before you plug the machine in 354 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,700 be sure it is... 355 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,020 set for "Off" 356 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,420 "Off" means closed 357 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:36,740 "On" means open 358 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,780 I see a little "Off" and a little "On" 359 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,740 Wonderful, wonderful! 360 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:54,020 I'm set for "Off"... 361 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:56,980 I plug it in... 362 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,700 I take a little wax... 363 00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,180 not too much... 364 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:10,500 too much wax cakes up... 365 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,540 disgracefully 366 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,620 You must use it 367 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,980 de-li-cate-ly... 368 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,660 Try it. 369 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,780 Wait, I want my husband to see. 370 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:50,420 I'm going to use the waxer 371 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:55,379 See? Your floor's already different 372 00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:57,379 Like day and night! 373 00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,500 I admit that 374 00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:03,460 Gustave, darling, kiss me. 375 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:08,260 Gustave, answer me! 376 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:27,660 Let us bow our heads before these mortal remains 377 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,860 Let us praise 378 00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:38,020 This model citizen. 379 00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,340 Let us pray that in Eternity 380 00:36:48,720 --> 00:36:51,420 He'll receive his just reward. 381 00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:03,540 Let's congratulate this model husband 382 00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:08,500 For taking out a good insurance policy 383 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:14,339 His wife's position will now be 384 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,020 very comfortable. 385 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,020 God bless him 386 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,580 Goodbye office 387 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:42,580 Goodbye subway 388 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:59,100 TO GUSTAVE MICHONNET, HERO OF HOUSEHOLD PROGRESS 389 00:38:34,720 --> 00:38:38,340 Gustave, Gustave, I'll mourn you all my life 390 00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:42,660 Until my very end! 391 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:49,140 These people are messing up my floor 392 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:52,660 I can't very well ask them to 393 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:57,420 wipe their feet on the doormat 394 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,940 When one is in deep mourning 395 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:05,100 It's just not done. 396 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:25,020 Gustave, how will I live without you? 397 00:40:00,460 --> 00:40:02,519 Don't you recognize me? 398 00:40:02,620 --> 00:40:06,560 I'm Jules, Jules Perdreau, your childhood sweetheart! 399 00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:11,880 I heard about your husband's passing. 400 00:40:16,620 --> 00:40:19,680 I used to have a mustache. 401 00:40:20,020 --> 00:40:21,960 It's the mustache! 402 00:40:25,380 --> 00:40:28,000 I came to comfort you. 403 00:40:40,660 --> 00:40:43,760 The Chinese eat it with chopsticks. 404 00:40:47,060 --> 00:40:52,000 If you were Chinese, what would you eat with chopsticks? 405 00:40:55,580 --> 00:40:57,120 Rice? 406 00:41:00,260 --> 00:41:02,920 Rice! Thanks. 407 00:41:57,220 --> 00:41:59,759 Emilie, you forgot our agreement. 408 00:41:59,860 --> 00:42:01,880 No waxing when I'm home. 409 00:42:03,140 --> 00:42:05,080 There's a spot. 410 00:42:05,860 --> 00:42:08,560 Wax it when I'm away. 411 00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:12,959 Let me have just 5 minutes of waxing. 412 00:42:13,060 --> 00:42:14,959 5 minutes. 413 00:42:15,060 --> 00:42:17,080 5 little minutes 414 00:42:28,860 --> 00:42:32,240 How do you like that? I tamed her. 415 00:43:19,420 --> 00:43:21,159 My dear Emilie, 416 00:43:21,260 --> 00:43:24,519 I work all week in an office. 417 00:43:24,620 --> 00:43:28,360 Where six perfumed blondes, very agreeable, 418 00:43:28,860 --> 00:43:32,999 deafen me with the clacking of their little typewriters, 419 00:43:33,100 --> 00:43:35,080 the so-called "noiseless" type. 420 00:43:35,260 --> 00:43:37,479 So when I'm home, 421 00:43:37,580 --> 00:43:41,320 I want deliverance from all mechanical noises. 422 00:43:41,700 --> 00:43:42,840 Understand? 423 00:43:46,100 --> 00:43:48,400 Did you understand? 424 00:43:50,820 --> 00:43:52,800 She understood! 425 00:44:31,300 --> 00:44:34,440 I'm going back to my mother. 426 00:45:17,940 --> 00:45:20,280 Oh waxer dear 427 00:45:22,100 --> 00:45:24,679 Let me hug you tight 428 00:45:24,780 --> 00:45:27,400 What exquisite intoxication! 429 00:45:28,260 --> 00:45:30,600 What grand excitation! 430 00:45:34,980 --> 00:45:37,519 I'm becoming all aflutter 431 00:45:37,620 --> 00:45:39,640 It's coming 432 00:45:40,380 --> 00:45:43,159 I feel it in my skin 433 00:45:43,260 --> 00:45:45,879 I feel it in my breasts 434 00:45:45,980 --> 00:45:49,240 I'm going to burst into blossom 435 00:45:51,060 --> 00:45:54,280 It's no longer a phantasm 436 00:45:55,540 --> 00:45:58,680 It's him, at last... at last! 437 00:46:57,620 --> 00:46:59,240 Murderer! 438 00:47:16,660 --> 00:47:19,319 To assault a human being 439 00:47:19,420 --> 00:47:21,440 Is blameable 440 00:47:23,220 --> 00:47:25,839 But to assault a machine 441 00:47:25,940 --> 00:47:27,960 Is abominable! 442 00:47:34,100 --> 00:47:36,120 Human beings 443 00:47:38,020 --> 00:47:39,679 multiply 444 00:47:39,780 --> 00:47:42,880 and, anyway, they're too many. 445 00:47:43,820 --> 00:47:45,880 Over-population 446 00:47:47,060 --> 00:47:50,160 is today's great problem. 447 00:48:07,100 --> 00:48:08,760 You! 448 00:48:11,540 --> 00:48:13,120 And you! 449 00:48:15,300 --> 00:48:17,520 You asked for it. 450 00:48:33,300 --> 00:48:36,000 Go see, I can't. 451 00:48:54,580 --> 00:48:56,880 Emilie's sacrifice 452 00:49:01,620 --> 00:49:04,360 Her halo of glory 453 00:49:11,420 --> 00:49:14,160 And Jule's infamous sacrilege 454 00:49:20,980 --> 00:49:23,560 Will live in history. 455 00:49:25,900 --> 00:49:28,639 Dead machines do not revive 456 00:49:28,740 --> 00:49:30,760 Irremediable is their remise. 457 00:49:31,020 --> 00:49:34,320 Men are born and they grow 458 00:49:35,780 --> 00:49:38,159 They grow like mushrooms 459 00:49:38,260 --> 00:49:40,640 It's necessary to stop them. 460 00:49:40,860 --> 00:49:43,320 The pill isn't enough 461 00:49:44,060 --> 00:49:46,440 Men grow and grow 462 00:49:50,820 --> 00:49:53,960 Machines die and don't revive. 463 00:50:10,620 --> 00:50:13,319 I'll always love you, I promise 464 00:50:13,420 --> 00:50:15,720 My darling, my love 465 00:50:18,740 --> 00:50:21,440 And we'll have lots of children! 466 00:50:26,820 --> 00:50:29,599 I invite you now to join me 467 00:50:29,700 --> 00:50:33,159 in a brief invocation of the period known as "La Belle Epoque". 468 00:50:33,260 --> 00:50:35,159 But I don't delude myself 469 00:50:35,260 --> 00:50:37,960 that it was all that gay. 470 00:50:38,260 --> 00:50:41,119 It had its injustices, its cruelties 471 00:50:41,220 --> 00:50:42,760 but I like it. 472 00:50:46,300 --> 00:50:50,840 For this short interlude Jeanne Moreau 473 00:50:52,620 --> 00:50:56,240 agreed to lend us her beauty and her talent. 474 00:53:54,220 --> 00:53:56,839 And now for "The King of Yvelot", 475 00:53:56,940 --> 00:53:59,799 which is the little of a song by Beranger, 476 00:53:59,900 --> 00:54:02,399 a popular old song which 477 00:54:02,500 --> 00:54:05,759 the hero of my story liked to hum 478 00:54:05,860 --> 00:54:07,759 hence the title. 479 00:54:07,860 --> 00:54:10,719 This anecdote is a tribute to a virtue 480 00:54:10,820 --> 00:54:13,719 which has all but disappeared, alas 481 00:54:13,820 --> 00:54:15,719 the virtue of "tolerance". 482 00:54:15,820 --> 00:54:20,439 It is also a tribute to that increasingly popular French game 483 00:54:20,540 --> 00:54:22,439 of bowls. 484 00:54:22,540 --> 00:54:24,560 It is played by... 485 00:54:31,620 --> 00:54:35,519 Now I'll throw the first bowl to open the game. 486 00:54:35,620 --> 00:54:38,479 As you see, it's a small one. 487 00:54:38,580 --> 00:54:41,239 but then, my theatre is small too. 488 00:54:41,340 --> 00:54:43,360 Curtain up and the game starts. 489 00:54:47,220 --> 00:54:49,120 Too far. 490 00:55:01,580 --> 00:55:03,480 A yard off. 491 00:55:03,940 --> 00:55:06,040 I'll knock it away. 492 00:55:17,380 --> 00:55:19,359 How's that, eh? 493 00:55:19,460 --> 00:55:21,480 Duvallier, you're a cuckold. 494 00:55:21,900 --> 00:55:24,519 I've never seen such luck! 495 00:55:24,620 --> 00:55:26,519 Not luck... skill. 496 00:55:26,620 --> 00:55:29,600 Luck or skill, let's have a drink. 497 00:55:31,660 --> 00:55:33,679 What'll you have? 498 00:55:33,780 --> 00:55:35,679 Thanks, I'm going home. 499 00:55:35,780 --> 00:55:37,519 I don't blame you. 500 00:55:37,620 --> 00:55:40,479 So would I, to one like Mme. Duvallier. 501 00:55:40,580 --> 00:55:42,879 You don't deserve such happiness. 502 00:55:42,980 --> 00:55:45,079 That's why you call me a cuckold? 503 00:55:45,180 --> 00:55:47,200 Heavens! Mme. Duvallier's an angel! 504 00:55:47,340 --> 00:55:48,920 A fallen angel. 505 00:55:50,220 --> 00:55:52,159 Satan, too, was an angel. 506 00:55:52,260 --> 00:55:54,479 Always joking, eh? Always jolly. 507 00:55:54,580 --> 00:55:56,479 I know what I know, 508 00:55:56,580 --> 00:56:00,039 and I don't trust your godless ideas of beauty. 509 00:56:00,140 --> 00:56:01,679 It's a devil's trap. 510 00:56:01,780 --> 00:56:04,279 Are you referring to my wife? 511 00:56:04,380 --> 00:56:06,279 Her and others. 512 00:56:06,380 --> 00:56:07,719 Where are you going? 513 00:56:07,820 --> 00:56:09,159 To pray. 514 00:56:09,260 --> 00:56:11,280 For forgiveness? 515 00:56:11,460 --> 00:56:13,519 Who laughs last, laughs best. 516 00:56:13,620 --> 00:56:15,319 You've a mirror home? 517 00:56:15,420 --> 00:56:17,359 Where there's a woman, 518 00:56:17,460 --> 00:56:19,480 there's always a mirror. 519 00:56:20,900 --> 00:56:24,559 Approach your wife at a mirror and 520 00:56:24,660 --> 00:56:26,559 stand beside her, 521 00:56:26,660 --> 00:56:28,200 and look. 522 00:56:28,420 --> 00:56:29,999 At what? 523 00:56:30,100 --> 00:56:32,120 You and her. 524 00:56:35,860 --> 00:56:39,120 Joly, you're a mean man. 525 00:56:45,820 --> 00:56:50,039 You're like the girl in the tale who, whenever she opened her mouth 526 00:56:50,140 --> 00:56:52,079 toads sprang out. 527 00:56:52,180 --> 00:56:53,719 I'll play you 10 points. 528 00:56:53,820 --> 00:56:57,640 I play bowls? That's for loafers! 529 00:56:59,340 --> 00:57:02,280 I'll be late because of your nonsense! 530 00:57:06,780 --> 00:57:09,120 Hello, Mr. Duvallier. 531 00:57:28,860 --> 00:57:32,279 Yes, I know, your land, don't sell it, don't... 532 00:57:32,380 --> 00:57:33,719 It's worth a lot. 533 00:57:33,820 --> 00:57:35,239 Who said so? 534 00:57:35,340 --> 00:57:37,279 Mr. Joly. 535 00:57:37,380 --> 00:57:40,160 These days, money is paper. 536 00:57:41,020 --> 00:57:43,320 Land is always land. 537 00:58:19,500 --> 00:58:21,880 Why won't you marry me? 538 00:58:23,060 --> 00:58:25,439 Why let me kiss you then? 539 00:58:25,540 --> 00:58:27,560 Because I like it. 540 00:58:28,820 --> 00:58:30,959 Then let's get married. 541 00:58:31,060 --> 00:58:32,519 Marry him. 542 00:58:32,620 --> 00:58:36,280 With his father's butcher shop, he'll be a Croesus! 543 00:58:38,420 --> 00:58:40,160 My steak! 544 00:58:42,420 --> 00:58:44,720 Paulette, come here. 545 00:58:45,900 --> 00:58:48,120 Why don't you marry him? 546 00:58:50,020 --> 00:58:51,760 There's someone else? 547 00:58:54,060 --> 00:58:57,560 You've been so kind, and Madame, too. 548 00:58:59,580 --> 00:59:01,960 I don't always want to be a maid. 549 00:59:04,180 --> 00:59:08,239 I want to be a hetaera, like Camille, or Messalina. 550 00:59:08,340 --> 00:59:09,799 Beautiful! 551 00:59:09,900 --> 00:59:14,200 I'd live grandly and my lovers would commit suicide for me. 552 00:59:15,260 --> 00:59:19,600 Before you go into mourning, see to the ravioli. 553 00:59:21,340 --> 00:59:22,399 Where's Madame? 554 00:59:22,500 --> 00:59:25,479 Resting. She said she had a headache. 555 00:59:25,580 --> 00:59:27,959 It's the weather, a storm's brewing. 556 00:59:28,060 --> 00:59:29,999 Storms give headaches? 557 00:59:30,100 --> 00:59:31,239 They say, 558 00:59:31,340 --> 00:59:32,679 not me. 559 00:59:32,780 --> 00:59:36,240 Wait till you're a great courtesan and you'll see. 560 00:59:40,180 --> 00:59:43,839 The kitchen faucet drips ever since it was fixed. 561 00:59:43,940 --> 00:59:45,479 We'll get a new plumber. 562 00:59:45,580 --> 00:59:48,560 Good, the old one kissed badly. 563 01:00:14,740 --> 01:00:16,480 Not well? 564 01:00:22,300 --> 01:00:25,519 Just nerves, all women have it. 565 01:00:25,620 --> 01:00:27,440 They shouldn't. 566 01:00:28,140 --> 01:00:30,399 That's the way we are. 567 01:00:30,500 --> 01:00:32,520 "The way we are!" 568 01:00:33,140 --> 01:00:35,639 I hate ready-made ideas. 569 01:00:35,740 --> 01:00:37,760 I'm really just nervous. 570 01:00:38,500 --> 01:00:42,679 I've a nervous wife and a maid who thinks she's Messalina. 571 01:00:42,780 --> 01:00:45,840 One day I'll wake thinking I'm Napoleon. 572 01:00:46,380 --> 01:00:48,040 Nervous? 573 01:00:49,500 --> 01:00:52,400 I don't know, little things. 574 01:00:55,580 --> 01:00:57,719 A tickling under my skin, 575 01:00:57,820 --> 01:01:01,279 a feeling like wanting to run, to yell... 576 01:01:01,380 --> 01:01:05,400 to roll on the ground on the village square. 577 01:01:06,260 --> 01:01:09,120 That would please Mr. Joly. 578 01:01:11,380 --> 01:01:13,640 You don't believe me? 579 01:01:14,540 --> 01:01:18,640 Oh, it's quite obvious you're nervous alright. 580 01:01:19,260 --> 01:01:22,560 I'm upsetting you, I've really a nasty character. 581 01:01:24,340 --> 01:01:27,519 You're the most exquisite of wives, 582 01:01:27,620 --> 01:01:30,240 and I, I'm a big egoist. 583 01:01:31,660 --> 01:01:35,519 A moment ago, playing bowls, I thought of you, 584 01:01:35,620 --> 01:01:38,079 though I needn't play bowls for that. 585 01:01:38,180 --> 01:01:40,479 And in your absence I fret. 586 01:01:40,580 --> 01:01:42,799 I've a remedy to propose, 587 01:01:42,900 --> 01:01:47,040 which will chase away, once and for all, your nervousness. 588 01:01:47,260 --> 01:01:48,999 Veronal? 589 01:01:49,100 --> 01:01:51,120 No, no drugs. 590 01:01:51,340 --> 01:01:54,359 We must get at the root. 591 01:01:54,460 --> 01:01:57,160 And you know the root? 592 01:01:59,620 --> 01:02:01,560 I think so. 593 01:02:03,180 --> 01:02:06,160 I'm old and you're young. 594 01:02:07,020 --> 01:02:09,960 Isabelle, we should separate. 595 01:02:10,860 --> 01:02:13,239 You're just saying anything. 596 01:02:13,340 --> 01:02:14,679 I've much more. 597 01:02:14,780 --> 01:02:18,640 I've a big bear who needs looking after. 598 01:02:19,020 --> 01:02:22,560 Without you I couldn't live. 599 01:02:22,780 --> 01:02:24,519 Linda swallowed a bone! 600 01:02:24,620 --> 01:02:26,440 She can't breathe! 601 01:02:29,780 --> 01:02:31,639 Do something! 602 01:02:31,740 --> 01:02:33,279 Do what? 603 01:02:33,380 --> 01:02:36,800 If anything happened to her I'd... I'd 604 01:02:50,020 --> 01:02:51,840 Hello, Dr. Feraud? 605 01:03:10,380 --> 01:03:12,479 Hurry, doctor... she'll die! 606 01:03:12,580 --> 01:03:14,119 That's the patient? 607 01:03:14,220 --> 01:03:15,960 She swallowed a bone. 608 01:03:17,700 --> 01:03:20,360 And my wife's got a case of nerves. 609 01:03:25,180 --> 01:03:27,519 I need a table. 610 01:03:27,620 --> 01:03:29,079 The kitchen table. 611 01:03:29,180 --> 01:03:31,959 Take her, I can't watch it. 612 01:03:32,060 --> 01:03:34,840 You won't hurt her, doctor? 613 01:03:46,620 --> 01:03:48,879 Hold her hind legs, please, 614 01:03:48,980 --> 01:03:51,400 and you her fore-legs. 615 01:03:57,340 --> 01:04:00,280 Will you put her to sleep? 616 01:04:09,460 --> 01:04:11,560 There you are. 617 01:04:20,540 --> 01:04:23,640 Don't be bashful, kiss my wife. 618 01:04:34,820 --> 01:04:37,280 I've never eaten, I mean... 619 01:04:37,580 --> 01:04:41,040 I've never eaten such an excellent p�t�. 620 01:04:41,420 --> 01:04:43,559 It's really very good. 621 01:04:43,660 --> 01:04:45,680 Made by Isabelle. 622 01:04:47,300 --> 01:04:50,039 So you're settled in the country... 623 01:04:50,140 --> 01:04:52,079 I'm not very ambitious. 624 01:04:52,180 --> 01:04:55,800 I've a few patients, I like taking it easy. 625 01:04:56,020 --> 01:04:58,719 Finally, someone who's as lazy as I am. 626 01:04:58,820 --> 01:05:00,359 and who admits it. 627 01:05:00,460 --> 01:05:04,680 Why do people today consider work as a virtue? 628 01:05:04,820 --> 01:05:07,120 I brag about my laziness. 629 01:05:08,700 --> 01:05:11,159 You know the song, "The King of Yvetot"... 630 01:05:11,260 --> 01:05:14,999 There was a King of Yvetot, Whom history little knows, 631 01:05:15,100 --> 01:05:17,120 Early to bed and late to rise, 632 01:05:17,340 --> 01:05:19,919 No glory marked his repose 633 01:05:20,020 --> 01:05:21,959 His crown was from Jeanneton, 634 01:05:22,060 --> 01:05:24,080 A nightcap of cotton, ronron. 635 01:05:26,620 --> 01:05:29,119 The King of Yvetot, that's me! 636 01:05:29,220 --> 01:05:31,440 Fish, forester style. 637 01:05:35,700 --> 01:05:37,600 Allow me. 638 01:05:41,020 --> 01:05:43,120 Watch it, dear. 639 01:06:16,340 --> 01:06:17,960 Sorry. 640 01:06:24,980 --> 01:06:27,759 What style did you say? 641 01:06:27,860 --> 01:06:29,199 It's fish. 642 01:06:29,300 --> 01:06:32,199 Granted, only you forgot to cook it. 643 01:06:32,300 --> 01:06:35,280 We're out of butane gas. 644 01:06:41,500 --> 01:06:43,799 Then Amed�e came, all excited. 645 01:06:43,900 --> 01:06:46,959 He'll get the butcher shop, but I won't be... 646 01:06:47,060 --> 01:06:48,399 a butcher's wife. 647 01:06:48,500 --> 01:06:50,520 She wants to be a hetaera. 648 01:06:52,980 --> 01:06:57,199 But you can be both butcher's wife and a hetaera. 649 01:06:57,300 --> 01:07:00,480 Take it away, we can't eat it. 650 01:07:05,100 --> 01:07:07,560 I'll make some spaghetti. 651 01:07:17,540 --> 01:07:20,280 Is the little pooch alright? 652 01:07:20,820 --> 01:07:23,200 Thanks to you. 653 01:08:05,220 --> 01:08:07,640 Darling, give me a straw. 654 01:08:28,940 --> 01:08:30,639 It's delicious. 655 01:08:30,740 --> 01:08:34,399 Andre fixed the frigidaire, now we'll have cold drinks. 656 01:08:34,500 --> 01:08:38,039 Get more glasses and call Andr�, 657 01:08:38,140 --> 01:08:40,519 so we can drink together. 658 01:08:40,620 --> 01:08:41,759 He's busy. 659 01:08:41,860 --> 01:08:43,399 Fixing the bathroom faucet. 660 01:08:43,500 --> 01:08:45,160 About time. 661 01:08:45,820 --> 01:08:48,679 He couldn't earlier, he filled the wine-bottles. 662 01:08:48,780 --> 01:08:53,040 He fixed the garden tap, too. He's a marvel, that boy! 663 01:08:55,980 --> 01:08:57,680 Go get him. 664 01:09:08,380 --> 01:09:10,040 Give me a wrench. 665 01:09:14,340 --> 01:09:15,639 Here. 666 01:09:15,740 --> 01:09:18,119 I finished the bathroom. 667 01:09:18,220 --> 01:09:21,879 I found another little thing that needed fixing. 668 01:09:21,980 --> 01:09:24,639 Edmond wants us to drink with him. 669 01:09:24,740 --> 01:09:27,360 Bring glasses and orgeat syrup. 670 01:09:32,900 --> 01:09:35,159 Now it won't leak anymore. 671 01:09:35,260 --> 01:09:37,280 He'll be glad. 672 01:09:54,140 --> 01:09:55,759 Are you happy? 673 01:09:55,860 --> 01:09:57,799 I'm happy because he's happy. 674 01:09:57,900 --> 01:09:59,799 He's a great guy. 675 01:09:59,900 --> 01:10:04,199 You know what he said after I fixes his carburetor this morning? 676 01:10:04,300 --> 01:10:08,240 "Andr�", he said, "what would I do without you?" 677 01:10:08,900 --> 01:10:10,640 He's very nice. 678 01:10:59,900 --> 01:11:04,960 Why don't we try the car and see if the carburetor's ok now? 679 01:11:05,340 --> 01:11:07,080 Good idea. 680 01:11:08,260 --> 01:11:10,399 I'll have to paint that bench. 681 01:11:10,500 --> 01:11:12,520 Let's refresh ourselves! 682 01:11:51,220 --> 01:11:54,160 Come, Linda, we're going for a drive. 683 01:12:08,340 --> 01:12:11,560 Ah, Mr. Joly! Going in for potato farming? 684 01:12:30,940 --> 01:12:32,639 What do I owe? 685 01:12:32,740 --> 01:12:35,600 At 10 cents a point, 3 francs. 686 01:12:36,300 --> 01:12:38,759 I think you lose on purpose. 687 01:12:38,860 --> 01:12:40,759 What an idea! Why? 688 01:12:40,860 --> 01:12:42,799 To please me. 689 01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:46,040 I wouldn't, even to please you. 690 01:12:47,300 --> 01:12:48,679 What's for dinner? 691 01:12:48,780 --> 01:12:51,760 I'll do it, I'll make ravioli. 692 01:12:52,660 --> 01:12:54,599 I adore ravioli! 693 01:12:54,700 --> 01:12:56,720 Watch your cholesterol. 694 01:13:00,580 --> 01:13:04,679 I don't exercise enough. I'll play some bowls. 695 01:13:04,780 --> 01:13:06,199 Come along? 696 01:13:06,300 --> 01:13:07,719 And my ravioli? 697 01:13:07,820 --> 01:13:09,480 He's making the ravioli. 698 01:13:10,140 --> 01:13:12,120 Ah, yes, the ravioli. 699 01:13:12,660 --> 01:13:14,960 See you later, darling. 700 01:13:15,260 --> 01:13:18,359 Paulette, for the ravioli get me some... 701 01:13:18,460 --> 01:13:21,519 flour, butter, salt, pepper... 702 01:13:21,620 --> 01:13:24,040 and the pastry board. 703 01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:34,800 I wonder if... 704 01:13:35,540 --> 01:13:38,720 I should make chicken or spinach ravioli? 705 01:13:39,380 --> 01:13:42,360 I'll make them with ham. 706 01:13:43,420 --> 01:13:45,800 You've lots of time, come. 707 01:14:01,340 --> 01:14:05,039 Funny, but I feel remorse. It can't last. 708 01:14:05,140 --> 01:14:07,519 He's happy whenever I'm happy, 709 01:14:07,620 --> 01:14:10,880 so you needn't feel remorse. 710 01:14:50,780 --> 01:14:52,439 Hi, Skipper! 711 01:14:52,540 --> 01:14:54,919 Hello, C�sar, how goes it? 712 01:14:55,020 --> 01:14:56,959 Not too well, Skipper. 713 01:14:57,060 --> 01:15:00,000 I'm so thirsty, I can't think! 714 01:15:00,700 --> 01:15:02,879 Been at it again, eh? 715 01:15:02,980 --> 01:15:05,960 No, no... not that, Skipper. 716 01:15:08,380 --> 01:15:11,119 Pity an old hungry sailor... 717 01:15:11,220 --> 01:15:13,239 and a thirsty one. 718 01:15:13,340 --> 01:15:16,959 You wouldn't refuse me a mite, between sailors. 719 01:15:17,060 --> 01:15:22,119 I'll give something but, frankly, it's to down a couple, no? 720 01:15:22,220 --> 01:15:24,119 To your health, Skipper! 721 01:15:24,220 --> 01:15:27,200 To your health, Sir! One-two, one-two... 722 01:15:31,340 --> 01:15:35,019 I forgot my wallet, I'll go back for it. 723 01:15:35,120 --> 01:15:37,400 Wait here, be patient. 724 01:15:38,300 --> 01:15:40,880 Would you have a fag, Skipper? 725 01:15:41,980 --> 01:15:44,360 Are you all set now? 726 01:16:18,100 --> 01:16:20,280 What are you doing? 727 01:16:22,100 --> 01:16:23,920 Preparing the ravioli. 728 01:16:24,220 --> 01:16:27,080 Here? Now that's an idea. 729 01:16:45,060 --> 01:16:46,560 Where's Madame? 730 01:16:47,020 --> 01:16:48,440 I don't know. 731 01:16:49,660 --> 01:16:51,360 You don't know? 732 01:16:54,580 --> 01:16:56,199 And Mr. Andr�? 733 01:16:56,300 --> 01:16:57,960 I don't know... I... 734 01:17:06,140 --> 01:17:07,920 Move away. 735 01:17:08,700 --> 01:17:13,720 Oh, Mr. Duvallier, don't go in there, don't go in! 736 01:17:18,100 --> 01:17:20,000 Get up. 737 01:17:43,860 --> 01:17:45,720 You're right. 738 01:17:47,380 --> 01:17:49,840 I shouldn't go in. 739 01:19:46,060 --> 01:19:48,720 If your wife cheated, what would you do? 740 01:19:49,660 --> 01:19:53,280 Nothing, I haven't got a wife! 741 01:20:00,700 --> 01:20:03,159 But that's too much, Skipper. 742 01:20:03,260 --> 01:20:05,280 Seamon C�sar... 743 01:20:07,020 --> 01:20:09,999 Your orders are... to get plastered, 744 01:20:10,100 --> 01:20:12,599 like you've never been plastered before. 745 01:20:12,700 --> 01:20:14,720 Aye, aye, Sir! 746 01:20:39,020 --> 01:20:41,919 If your wife cheated, what would you do? 747 01:20:42,020 --> 01:20:45,000 My wife cheated? She's too old. 748 01:21:04,420 --> 01:21:06,919 If your wife had a lover... 749 01:21:07,020 --> 01:21:08,439 what would you do? 750 01:21:08,540 --> 01:21:10,560 Kill'em both. 751 01:21:10,900 --> 01:21:12,879 You love her so? 752 01:21:12,980 --> 01:21:15,960 I wouldn't like being a jerk. 753 01:21:16,620 --> 01:21:17,919 Of course. 754 01:21:18,020 --> 01:21:20,640 Question of honor, no? 755 01:21:57,700 --> 01:21:59,399 What misery! 756 01:21:59,500 --> 01:22:01,959 I'll regret it all my life. 757 01:22:02,060 --> 01:22:04,080 Ah yes, what misery! 758 01:22:04,660 --> 01:22:06,839 And it's all my fault. 759 01:22:06,940 --> 01:22:10,559 If we'd remained just friends, we'd still be happy.. 760 01:22:10,660 --> 01:22:12,680 and so would he. 761 01:22:14,620 --> 01:22:17,080 Will I see you again? 762 01:22:20,700 --> 01:22:22,959 You think he'll return? 763 01:22:23,060 --> 01:22:24,279 Yes, he loves you. 764 01:22:24,380 --> 01:22:27,360 Yes, but only when I'm happy. 765 01:22:27,780 --> 01:22:30,679 When I'm unhappy, I upset him, 766 01:22:30,780 --> 01:22:33,560 and if you leave, I'll be unhappy. 767 01:22:38,780 --> 01:22:41,200 It's not just us three. 768 01:22:42,420 --> 01:22:44,799 There's public opinion. 769 01:22:44,900 --> 01:22:48,719 Captain Duvallier can't overlook such an insult. 770 01:22:48,820 --> 01:22:50,759 People will know? 771 01:22:50,860 --> 01:22:52,680 Such news travels fast. 772 01:23:37,820 --> 01:23:40,680 Oh, if you knew, if you knew! 773 01:23:43,220 --> 01:23:46,360 I was preparing the flour... 774 01:23:47,100 --> 01:23:48,920 for the ravioli... 775 01:24:17,460 --> 01:24:21,040 They were caught together, what a scandal! 776 01:24:35,020 --> 01:24:37,880 I'll play you 13 points, OK? 777 01:24:45,780 --> 01:24:48,280 I've something to tell you. 778 01:24:50,860 --> 01:24:53,760 Nothing, it can wait. Let's play. 779 01:25:15,780 --> 01:25:17,519 What's funny? 780 01:25:17,620 --> 01:25:21,080 Your clumsiness, which contradicts the proverb... 781 01:25:21,540 --> 01:25:24,319 "Luck in game, unlucky in love." 782 01:25:24,420 --> 01:25:26,960 I'll knock you block off! 783 01:25:30,220 --> 01:25:32,000 You're a brute. 784 01:25:33,860 --> 01:25:36,200 A dirty brute! 785 01:25:38,460 --> 01:25:41,480 Joly, you're a mean man. 786 01:25:43,780 --> 01:25:45,960 From Mr. Feraud. 787 01:25:53,180 --> 01:25:54,720 Idiot! 788 01:26:45,380 --> 01:26:47,520 Ah, there you are! 789 01:26:54,180 --> 01:26:57,119 Why are we in this God-forsaken place? 790 01:26:57,220 --> 01:26:59,799 To avoid witnesses, Mr. Duvallier. 791 01:26:59,900 --> 01:27:02,799 "Mr."? Yesterday you called me Edmond. 792 01:27:02,900 --> 01:27:04,880 And why that get-up? 793 01:27:05,740 --> 01:27:09,800 Wouldn't you admit that life has certain delicate moments... 794 01:27:12,260 --> 01:27:15,639 when serious explanations are called for... 795 01:27:15,740 --> 01:27:18,999 explanations requiring a certain decorum? 796 01:27:19,100 --> 01:27:22,280 I don't understand a word of your murky talk. 797 01:27:23,540 --> 01:27:28,240 The situation is only too clear, alas, with but a sole solution, 798 01:27:28,460 --> 01:27:29,759 I see. 799 01:27:29,860 --> 01:27:31,880 What do you have there? 800 01:27:32,340 --> 01:27:34,440 Pistols, Mr. Duvallier. 801 01:27:35,740 --> 01:27:38,000 That's your sole solution? 802 01:27:55,620 --> 01:28:00,080 And, naturally, you'd have kept the unloaded one for yourself. 803 01:28:00,740 --> 01:28:02,760 I'm very unhappy. 804 01:28:03,300 --> 01:28:06,480 I can't... imagine life... without Isabelle. 805 01:28:06,740 --> 01:28:09,479 nor, I must confess... without you... 806 01:28:09,580 --> 01:28:13,040 That's why you want to make me a murderer? 807 01:28:13,460 --> 01:28:15,439 You won't duel? 808 01:28:15,540 --> 01:28:16,999 Certainly not! 809 01:28:17,100 --> 01:28:20,919 What'll I do? Beat it? Go to China? 810 01:28:21,020 --> 01:28:23,040 You'd do that to me? 811 01:28:23,740 --> 01:28:26,720 You'd abandon your King of Yvetot? 812 01:28:27,100 --> 01:28:29,320 What'll I do without you? 813 01:28:29,780 --> 01:28:31,359 And my wife? 814 01:28:31,460 --> 01:28:32,799 Think of her. 815 01:28:32,900 --> 01:28:34,839 You're selfish! 816 01:28:34,940 --> 01:28:36,479 What about convention? 817 01:28:36,580 --> 01:28:39,159 I don't care a hoot about convention, 818 01:28:39,260 --> 01:28:41,159 and you shouldn't either. 819 01:28:41,260 --> 01:28:43,079 That would be a revolution! 820 01:28:43,180 --> 01:28:45,599 Revolutions make life bearable. 821 01:28:45,700 --> 01:28:50,200 Revolutions in the kitchen, the bedroom, the village square... 822 01:28:50,620 --> 01:28:53,559 tempests in a tea cup. 823 01:28:53,660 --> 01:28:56,280 We'd better play some bowls. 824 01:28:59,060 --> 01:29:01,840 Edmond, you're an extraordinary man! 825 01:29:04,060 --> 01:29:05,800 Oh, come on. 826 01:29:07,980 --> 01:29:10,440 To get Isabelle. 827 01:29:44,780 --> 01:29:47,200 Skipper, I followed your advice. 828 01:29:47,780 --> 01:29:49,800 I got royally plastered. 829 01:30:11,420 --> 01:30:15,679 Bring my wife some refreshment while I'm playing. 830 01:30:15,780 --> 01:30:17,800 I'll play you 13 points, OK? 831 01:30:38,700 --> 01:30:42,480 They defy us, but he who laughs last etc... 832 01:31:12,820 --> 01:31:15,280 Duvallier, you're a cuckold! 833 01:32:23,380 --> 01:32:25,560 Subtitles ripped by gooz karagarga, 2018